Whine Whine Whine

This was a crazy week, this entry was done yesterday, but I was so busy I didn't post it. An unusual number of happenings, none bad, but I also couldn't seem to get myself in gear so I was a little crazy too. I'm beginning to feel a funny about writing a blog. It seems rather self-centered. As a college friend is fond of saying, pointing to himself, "it's all about me!" But here I go again anyway.

So much of my life revolved and continues to revolve around food.  Family dinners, holidays, celebrations, vacations – happy times eating and drinking. I equate food with happiness in the good times and comfort in the bad.

Over the past two years I’ve worked to change my attitude about food.  I try to view it as fuel. Sometimes I’m even successful. I like science: Inputs, outputs, weights and measures.  My body and mind don’t always agree. And sometimes my mouth and hand take control. But generally, it works.

Many of my exercise friends have the same struggles. We try to make these new behaviors life changes, not “diets.” But no matter how you look at it. Limiting calories in order to lose weight is a diet.  I would wake early and lay in bed thinking about a new day and new calories to “spend.” I was like a housewife with a very small budget. I was a calorie miser. 

Now, having reached my goal, I just have a slightly larger budget. It’s scary to spend. Sometimes I over-reach and “oops” a pound creeps on. This isn’t fair. Why does it take a month of HARD dieting and exercise to lose two pounds, but a week of SLIGHTLY more food, not out of control binges, but a little here, a little there, HOW does it put on one or two pounds?  There’s no getting around it. I have to plan and measure my food every day.  But I don’t like it. Today I’m whining about it.