You Can Have It All, Kind-of

This week I've been attending the Xerox Rochester International Jazz Festival. It's a gigantic jazz-lover's party where 10s of thousands attend jazz performances scheduled all around downtown Rochester NY.  It's full of music interwoven with wine, beer, cocktails, and food. I enjoy all of it and that's what this blog is about.

Every evening I run into old acquaintances who haven't seen me since I lost 100 pounds. They ask me how I did it and often tell me their doctor has told them they need to lose weight. They reveal they aren't doing anything because they are unwilling to give up their enjoyment of social occasions. So let me dispel the myth that you can't enjoy your favorite social events, drinks and foods when you are losing weight or maintaining a healthy weight.

You can enjoy social events where food and wine flow but you have to be smart about it and you can't have it all. Here are the strategies I've tried and some of them actually work for me. I had to be much more rigorous when I was losing vs. now that I'm maintaining:
        Eat and drink with wild abandon and then abstain for the following few days/week (you know, salads, lean foods, careful portions -- this often ends up being my approach now that I'm maintaining, although my wild abandon now is different from my wild abandon when I was 100 pounds overweight. If I did this while I was losing, it would mean a week of no weight loss, which was discouraging.).
        Eat modestly that day anticipating how much you will allow yourself that evening, keeping it all in balance. (This is the best plan, but it rarely works for me, hand me that 2nd glass of wine and I'll drink it or pass the tray of snacks and I'll eat them).
        Ask a friend to remind you to think twice about eating that cookie/snack/beer. (I sometimes ask my husband to do this and then I growl at him when he reminds me -- it doesn't work for me.)
         Spend your time chatting with friends or listening to the music and abstain from the food and drink. (This works for me when I'm motivated to lose, I have to make sure I eat well before I go and I stay away from the food table. If I don't start eating I seem to do better than trying to just have a little. I also chew gum and hold a glass of water in my hand).

So here's the end to the story. Seven days ago I returned from Indiana with my usual 3-4 pound gain. I worked modestly all week to drop the pounds. Exercising 5/7 days and planning what I eat. I followed the food plan 5/7 days -- two were not so good! I attended the jazz festival and had 1-2 glasses of wine every evening. I ate festival foods one night. I ate late snacks when I got home one night. I WAS NOT PERFECT. My diet and exercise would not be written up in a journal as role model. Despite this, I lost the 4 pounds I had gained in Indiana. So the big lesson is NIP it in the bud and balance excess with moderation on a daily basis.

Good luck. You will feel better if you do something.

Keep Away!

I just returned from a visit home. Every time I go there I swear I will eat well and exercise but I don't. Old habits return, I'm busy, and temptation surrounds me. I usually return from a 1 week visit with 2 or 3 extra pounds.

My mother watched me eat another handful of chips (or cookies or bowl of ice cream) and wondered how I managed to take off so much weight eating like I do. I said I have a higher metabolism now, more muscle, and I don't eat like this at home. But is that all?


I realized that just because I return to Indiana my willpower doesn't fly out the window. I never had it! At least not enough to resist certain foods. My trainer wrote a blog about how no one has enough willpower to eat perfectly in all circumstances, you have to have strategies.

My successful strategy is 'keep away'. I've come to recognize my own long list of irresistible foods and I just don't bring them into the house. If they do sneak into the house I may eat a few and then I ask my husband to either finish them quickly or hide them. At a party, I avoid being near them.

I'll have to work on better strategies for my visits home, but until then, I just work hard after I return to take off those 2-3 pounds before they decide to stay.

Affirmations

I’ve noticed that it's easier to eat right and exercise when I’m kinder to myself in my head. Or maybe I’m kinder to myself when I eat better and exercise. Either way, thinking positive, self-affirming thoughts does help with weight loss and weight maintenance.

Very early on in my physical reformation, a life coach, Jacqui, (Light-r-u.com) suggested I create a visual representation of my goal and write some affirming statements about the future me.

I browsed the web for a regular-size dressy dress to wear to my son’s wedding in a year. It had all the characteristics of what I hadn’t been able to wear for the past 25 years. Form-fitting, attention-getting red, and sleeveless (I really hated my arms). The model stood tall with good posture. My husband digitally replaced the model’s head with a picture of my own and there I was – a vision of what I hoped to be in a year.

I took it a step further because my motivation wasn’t only to look good I wanted to feel good. I found a picture of a young girl running joyfully through a field and added it to the back of the woman in the dress. This is how I wanted to feel. Young, energetic, joyful, and pain-free.

Along side the pictures I wrote affirming statements about the future me. “I have good posture.” “My arms are firm and strong.” “I wear regular-size clothes.” “I am beautiful.” “I eat right and exercise.” On the back I wrote. “I am energetic.” “I am healthy.” “I can run and play.” “I am joyful.”

This picture moved around the house with me. Taped to the bathroom mirror, on my computer monitor, in my notebook. Over time I began to achieve my goals and I began to believe the statements. 

Sit down and visualize how you will be when you reach your goals. Cut a picture out of a magazine. Glue your face on it. Write your statements. Read them regularly. It does help.

By the way, the dress I wore to my son’s wedding was even better. It showed my knees too. A year earlier I couldn’t even imagine revealing my knees.